This Week's Topic
Trope Talk - Age Gap Romance
I always remember being at a BookCon panel, and an author (YA author who I cannot remember, a big one) talked about tropes, and she said, "I love all the tropes!" I sort of agree with her to some degree. So, I decided I would do a trope talk, here and there, to share my thoughts and get yours on some I recently encountered.
This one has been simmering in my mind ever since I read Sweet Thing. I liked this book, however, I always got a little bit of an ick-factor when the age issue arose. The rest of the story was good enough to make me forget it, but I seem to have some big opinions about age gap romances.
In Sweet Thing, the heroine falls in love with one of her father's teammates who is twelve years older than her. In my mind, I was thinking about how he was in middle school was she was born. She was just starting grade school when he graduated high school. I know the older man-younger woman thing dominates in society, but I struggle with it. I have read many older hero-younger heroine books, but I definitely try to forgot about the age difference. The only book I could not finish with that kind of age gap was one where the romance was between a woman and her best friend's father. That's just too much for me.
Oddly enough, I have no issue when the heroine is older. It could be the practicality of it for me. On average, women live longer than men. If you man is younger, there is a better chance of you growing old together. Or maybe it's something rooted deeper in the way I find old men dating young girls gross, and it's my subconscious way of rebelling against that. Whatever the reason, I never have an issue with older woman-younger man, and I am just fine acknowledging the age gap. I feel like the gap was within ten years in these books, too. It's hard for me to understand people crossing those generational lines. I know, it's my hangup, but I seem to not let it keep me from reading any books.
Here are some age-gap romances I loved. These are all older heroine-younger hero.
- Secret or Shutout by Leah Brunner
- Part of Your World by Abby Jimenez
- Well Matched by Jen DeLuca
- Tools of Engagement by Tessa Bailey
- Happiness for Beginners by Katherine Center
- Swept Away by Beth O'Leary
- Summer Romance by Annabel Monaghan
- Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes
- The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang
- Is She Really Going Out with Him by Sophie Cousens
- Nora Goes Off Script by Annabel Monaghan
- Off the Map by Trish Doller
Now it's your turn!
Thoughts on age gap romance?
Let us know in the comments!
Let us know in the comments!
In general, I don't necessarily mind an age-gap romance (maybe because there are several couples in my real life with age-gaps). But there is a certain type of age-gap that gives me the "ick", and that's when it's someone (family friend, co-worker of a parent, etc) who, as an adult, knew the younger partner as a child and watched them grow up.
ReplyDeleteYES! I think that was my biggest issue with the one I remember DNFing. She grew up around him. It was creepy to me, or came off as some sort of infatuation she turned into a relationship?
DeleteI honestly have no issue with age gap romance as long as the younger one is of consent age when they fall in love!
ReplyDeleteA very important point. Teacher-student in YA is a ick for me.
DeleteI loved Part of Your World, and I loved that she was older. I feel like that doesn't happen a lot in books; usually it's the other way around. Most of the time I don't mind it, but it does sometimes make me think, ok, this is good for them for now, but most people don't think ahead to the future. My mom's husband was 25 years older than her, and while they had many good years, it got hard at the end. LOL, maybe I'm thinking too hard about this!
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree art seems to imitate reality with many older men/younger women. 25 years is a big gap. Wow! I had a friend whose parents had a gap like that, and her mom has been a widow for so many years. It's sad.
DeleteI don't have an issue with age gap romance as long as they ar eboth of an adult consenting age and one doesn't have power over another like a boss/employee or coach/athlete. My husband was ten years older than me, but I was 21 when I met him. I'm also not a fan of the friend of the daughter and father type relationship either that is just icky.
ReplyDeleteGood point. I do think authors these days take the power position into account.
DeleteSo I agree with Carla- as long as there isn't a power imbalance and everyone is a fully grown adult (18 honestly doesn't even count at this point, they're still in HS, I mean like 25+), then I am fine with it. That said, I don't often *like* it? Like- even though I am not feeling icky about it, I can't help but feel a bit... Idk, jaded about it? Like- even if one partner is 40 and the other is 55, it isn't unbalanced or wrong, but I think of all the pitfalls. Different generations, one is likely to be incapacitated far earlier than the other, etc. Maybe that is just the pessimist in me heh.
ReplyDelete