Thursday, March 5, 2020

#AmReading YA

When You Were Everything
Ashley Woodfolk
Age/Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary
Publisher: Delacorte Press
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Goodreads
You can't rewrite the past, but you can always choose to start again.

It’s been twenty-seven days since Cleo and Layla’s friendship imploded.

Nearly a month since Cleo realized they’ll never be besties again.

Now, Cleo wants to erase every memory, good or bad, that tethers her to her ex–best friend. But pretending Layla doesn’t exist isn’t as easy as Cleo hoped, especially after she’s assigned to be Layla’s tutor. Despite budding new friendships with other classmates—and a raging crush on a gorgeous boy named Dom—Cleo’s turbulent past with Layla comes back to haunt them both.

Alternating between time lines of Then and Now, When You Were Everything blends past and present into an emotional story about the beauty of self-forgiveness, the promise of new beginnings, and the courage it takes to remain open to love.
Layla entered her life at time when Cleo really needed her, and now, as her family was falling apart, she was gone. Once she was Cleo's everything, but now, they were veritable strangers.

I am so happy to be seeing more and more of these friend breakup stories. I bet many people have experienced a painful end to what they thought was a lifelong relationship, and therefore, many will be able to relate to what Cleo was going through. In fact, my heart ached, often, as I read this book, because I have been there, and it wasn't any easier watching it happen to someone else.

Cleo was this "old soul", who I instantly loved. She adored The Bard, and was often found listening to classic jazz due to the influence of her beloved grandmother. Cleo was happy living in her bubble with Layla, but unfortunately, Layla was changing, and wanted to expand her social circle. This was a case of two people growing apart, and though there's no crime in that, both Layla and Cleo committed quite a few missteps, until their friendship reached a rather irreparable point.

I loved the way Woodfolk took me back and forth, between the past and the present. I watched as, bit by bit, this once solid friendship unraveled until the bond was lost forever. Present Cleo spent a lot of time reflecting on what had happened, and what she did wrong, as she tried to rebuild her life without Layla. I felt like I was going through the stages of grief with her, which seemed really appropriate, as the death of a friendship can be such a profound loss for many.

I found myself more sympathetic towards Cleo, since I was always the one left behind, but I also understood Layla's need to stretch her wings. Needless to say, Cleo's loss was deep, but it also led to some wonderful new things for her.

Without Layla to rely on, Cleo began forming new friendships. She found people, who shared her passions, and appreciated her view of the world. She began to push herself, to put herself out there, working in the diner, and even finding some romance. This was not a smooth journey for Cleo. She was wounded and gun-shy. She was struggling with trusting and understanding why these people would want to be her friend. It was parts like these that pained me, but I understood her need for self preservation.

I read another friend breakup story, not too long ago, and I feel like Woodfolk's was more successful for me, because of the amount of time spent on the post mortem part of the relationship. It was also more hopeful, and acknowledged that, though, a relationship had ended, it could still be an important part of your life.

Overall: A relatable story of the demise of a relationship, which was painfully honest, but hopeful.

Rules for Being a Girl
Candance Bushnell, Katie Cotugno
Age/Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Goodreads
It starts before you can even remember: You learn the rules for being a girl. . . .

Marin has always been good at navigating these unspoken guidelines. A star student and editor of the school paper, she dreams of getting into Brown University. Marin’s future seems bright―and her young, charismatic English teacher, Mr. Beckett, is always quick to admire her writing and talk books with her.

But when “Bex” takes things too far and comes on to Marin, she’s shocked and horrified. Had she somehow led him on? Was it her fault?

When Marin works up the courage to tell the administration what happened, no one believes her. She’s forced to face Bex in class every day. Except now, he has an ax to grind.

But Marin isn’t about to back down. She uses the school newspaper to fight back and she starts a feminist book club at school. She finds allies in the most unexpected people, like “slutty” Gray Kendall, who she’d always dismissed as just another lacrosse bro. As things heat up at school and in her personal life, Marin must figure out how to take back the power and write her own rules.
Marin was at the top of her game. In the running for valedictorian? Check. Popular, athletic boyfriend? Check. Co-editor of the school newspaper? Check. A shoe-in for acceptance to her dream school, Brown? Check. Everything seemed to be going according to plan, until her English teacher, Bex, made sexual advances towards her.

As she struggled with confusion and guilt over the situation, Marian also had to deal with blowback from reporting such a beloved teacher. As things began to spiral out, Marin became more and more determined to take back some power, and decided to rewrite the rules for being a girl.

This was such a wake up call for Marin, and it prompted her to really examine her life. Her experience opened her eyes up to a world, that had always been there, but she never really noticed. From her boyfriend's passive-aggressive comments to the school's dress code hypocrisy, Marin was fed up with it all. She wanted to see some changes, and she was starting with herself.

As a woman, who went to engineering school in the early 90s, and worked in IT, I am well aware of the rules for being a girl. It's always amazed me how society has conditioned us to accept and conform to these unwritten rules, and I love when they are challenged. The authors did such a wonderful job calling out the double standard, and allowing the characters to thoughtfully explore the issues at hand, while also making this feel like a very honest and realistic journey for a teen girl.

Marin came for a family of fierce women, who I absolutely loved. I felt that fire, when her mother learned about Bex, and her grandmother, my heart, she was phenomenal. There were so many special and meaningful moments shared between Marin, her mother, her grandmother, and her sister, and I loved them all.

I also loved feminist book club. Yes, you heard me. At one point, Marin questioned, why all the books they read were written by not only men, but white men. Instead of getting another one way ticket to the principal's office, Marin channeled that frustration into forming a book club. There, she made new allies and rebuilt her support system. I loved the mix of people, who joined her club, and though they don't get too in depth, many different topics are touched upon during group discussions.

I found myself getting quite fired up as I read this book, and I hope others will too. It's 2020, and books like this still need to be written, which makes me sad, but I am still hopeful, as I have seen things improve, though rather slowly. I think Rules for Being a Girl is a great conversation starter, and I hope it will inspire many open and honest discussions about equality, sexual harassment, and those unwritten social norms we unwittingly subscribe to.

**ARCs received in exchange for honest reviews.

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24 comments:

  1. It's not often I read about friendships ending but it's such a part of life. Whether it's because of a specific reason/event or just drifting apart, it's good to show that it happens. In this case, it doesn't sound like anyone "did" anything or was in the wrong, they were just going in different directions. And Cleo being an "old soul" sounds plenty relatable.

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    1. I am glad to be seeing more books like Woodfolk's. It's something that does happen in people's lives, and it's important to show how some cope with it. They did stuff at one point, it was not a neat and tidy breakup, but it was the way Cleo accepted it and reflected on her friendship, that made this so good

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  2. Rules for Being A Girl sounds amazing! I don’t think I’ve seen that book before. I might need to add it to my TBR list.

    Aj @ Read All The Things!

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    1. I found myself totally engrossed in the book, and it's great jumping off point.

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  3. they both sound interesting. are there rules for being a girl? :-)
    sherry @ fundinmental

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    1. Unfortunately, there are. I like that more and more authors are taking on this topic, and challenging the social norms

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  4. When You Were Everything sounds like a book I REALLY need to read! These both sound good! :)

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    1. It was so wonderful. I need to go back and read Woodfolk's previous book, because I really enjoyed her storytelling.

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  5. Great reviews! I need to read Rules for Being a Girl.

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    1. I hope you get to it! I thought it was a fantastic collaboration

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  6. Two fantastic books this week. Woo hoo!! I'll have to check both of these out.

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

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    1. I was happy to be surprised by both these books. They made me feel a lot.

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  7. Wow Sam two five stars this week? Amazing!

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  8. When You Were Everything sounds so good! I am going to keep that one in mind.

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    1. It really was. Woodfolk took me through a range of emotions, and I appreciated the idea, that every experience, good or bad, is helpful in shaping us. She had Cleo learn for this, and not be bitter about how it ended, but rather, grateful that she ever shared something with Layla

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  9. Marin sounds like an amazing character - I love how she takes this unpleasant situation and completely turns it a force for good and change.

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    1. Marin was transformed by this experience, and she found the fierce woman that was just waiting below the surface to be discovered.

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  10. I'm so happy to see that 5 star rating for Woodfolk's book. I loved her debut so I have very high hopes for When You Were Everything.

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    1. I want to read her debut, because I was really impressed by her new release.

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  11. When You Were Everything sounds interesting... I never had super close friendships like that. I was always the friend on the fringes of the super hardcore girl-friendships. :/

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    1. I had a few friendships that fell apart in high school. I was tight with these two girls, went on vacation, and when I came back, they would not speak to me. I never knew why they abandoned me, though I believed it was because one started dating a popular boy, and I didn't fit with that group. Still hurt. So, yeah, the book was very relatable.

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  12. When You Were Everything sounds like it is going to be a heart wrenching kind of read. As someone who experienced multiple friend break ups at the same time, it seems like one I would be able to relate to a lot as well. I also am a huge fan of Shakespeare as well, so I love to see characters in books who share that as well! As for Rules to Being a Girl, it sounds like a book of pure defiance. I love the sound of Marian and especially how her family all rally behind her at her time of need. Sounds amazing!

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    1. Woodfolk did a beautiful job with that story. It was painful, but there was healing and acceptance, which made it easier for me. I did cry a few times, but I was happy with the way the story played out.

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