Friday, August 9, 2019

Discussion: Is that a compliment?


This Week’s Topic: Is that a compliment?


Not too long ago, there was some Twitter drama (per usual), when an author requested that she not be tagged in reviews - good or bad. Hey, that's her preference, and I respected it. But, of course, everyone had an opinion about it, but it was tweet from Cora Carmack, which caught my attention.
She then went on to give examples, and this made me question my own reviews. Do I give a compliment which is sort of backhanded or can be damaging?

Many of the examples she provided seemed harmless at first glance, but when I tried to look at them from her perspective, I sort of understood what she was saying.
“I normally hate romance in books, but this one was amazing” — is technically positive but is demeaning when you see it all the time.
I mean, the person said the book was amazing, but at the same time, sort of put down the entire romance genre.
“I hated this author’s previous books, but this was sucked me in right from the beginning! 5 stars!” Also positive, but still can send you tumbling into a bad mood (or worse) on the wrong day.
This one had me shaking my head. I really don't think I would say I hated the author's other books. I know I have mentioned, in discussions, that certain authors are hit or miss for me, and now I am wondering if I ever put it in a review.
“I loved this book so much, but found the heroine a little annoying at times.” When that heroine is crafted from a piece of yourself, that 5 star review still stings.
I winced when I read this one, because I know I read things like this all the time, and I may actually have written a comment like this.

I started writing reviews, because I wanted to let people know how much I loved a certain book. I appreciated that an author was able to create something that delighted me, entertained me, and made me feel. I recognize that even if a book isn't for me, someone put their blood, sweat, and tears into it, and I respect that.

All I know is that I am looking a bit more critically at my so-called compliments, and am no longer tagging authors when I post reviews.

Now it's your turn!

Do you tag authors in reviews? 
Let us know in the comments!

62 comments:

  1. When I started blogging (in 2014) I'd tag authors in both 4 and 5 star reviews - on twitter, people had this rule that you can tag authors in anything above 3 stars. Thinking back, I probably tagged authors in reviews I shouldn't have, which sucks.

    About two years ago, Susan Dennard tweeted that she doesn't want to be tagged in four star reviews, because they feel negative to her. Since then I've been very careful who I tag, and only tagged authors whose books I wrote a 1000% positive review about.

    But now I'm reconsidering that, as well, and can only see myself doing it if it can be determined that the author likes being tagged - if I've seen them share review before, for example. Otherwise, I feel very uncomfortable tagging anyone. The exception was the highlight posts I published recently - one about multiple works by an author, the other about a series by an author. As these weren't reviews, just summaries, or reasons why I love their works, I felt okay tagging the authors, and they both seemed to appreciate it.

    Great discussion, Sam! :)

    Veronika @ Wordy and Whimsical

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    1. I tend to keep my reviews positive, and I love to let an author know I adored their book, but I am seeing more and more authors, who don't want to be tagged, good or bad. I always felt what I wrote in a 4 or 5 star review was complimentary, but after reading Carmack's thread, I started to question how each remark would be received.

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  2. I can definitely see where some comments in my reviews could be seen as backhanded compliments. But this idea that authors don't want to be tagged in reviews kind of perplexes me - do they not read ANY reviews at all? There are going to be very few reviews where the person writing it is 100% positive. I think a 4-star review is a very good review. But, I'm not a writer, so it's more likely I just don't understand how personal it can be.

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    1. I guess it's because what you think is positive can maybe be perceived in a different way. I know I am looking more critically at my reviews, because my goal has always been to emphasize what I liked about the book. I finished it for some reason, so there had to be something good to say.

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  3. I've never tagged an author in a review UNLESS it was provided by the author (not publisher) AND it was a positive review. Sometimes I don't even do it then (but if I don't, I've had authors reach out to me asking where the review is before so...)
    At the end of the day, though, authors just aren't my audience and while I can understand that even backhanded compliments of your work can suck...the review isn't for them? Sometimes when someone says " I usually hate romance but this one was great " is helpful for me because it might be a genre I don't usually like either but want to give a try. I'm the audience. I have some more thoughts on this but I think this will get too long haha but what a great discussion topic!

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    1. The authors, who were speaking out on this, were saying they didn't even want positive reviews tagged, and I think it was related to the idea that one person's complement can be interpreted differently by the receiver. I think most authors understand you don't write reviews for them, but if we are tagging them, they we expect them to read said review, and then we have to rethink our approach in that case. I can see how you like the idea of someone, who is reading outside of their preferred genre telling you that this one worked for them, but I do think there is a nicer way to put it. You know.

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  4. Honestly, I've started to only tag authors who I am mutuals with in 4.5+ stars reviews. Most authors do not want to be tagged (according to a Twitter poll I conducted regardless if the review is positive or not). I understand where they are coming from and we have to respect their wishes.

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    1. I was surprised that many don't want to be tagged, because most of my reviews are love letter as to why I adored this book. I don't tend to feature books I didn't like on the blog, and I don't tweet updates for every book I read, but those exampled Carmack provided made me think hard about how I was expressing my feelings. I absolutely would not want to be bombarded with negativity about something I created.

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  5. I very rarely tag authors in reviews anymore. I’ve seen so many of them say that they feel reviews are for readers, not the authors, and they prefer not to be tagged. Once in a while a blog tour will mention tagging the author and the publisher and PR company, but I do those so rarely anymore that it’s kind of a non-issue. I’ve probably inadvertently written some comments in reviews that could have been taken wrong but some of those examples actually made me cringe. I would never say some of those things. Ouch!

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    1. Before I was blogging, I started writing reviews only for books I loved, because I to let everyone out there know how much I loved this particular book, and I looked at it as a "thank you for creating this" for the author, but I do see their side of it, and I absolutely do not understand people getting so angry on social media, because an authors asks not to be tagged. It's good to respect people's boundaries.

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  6. If you hated an author’s previous books, why would you keep reading their future books? I know that’s not the point of this post, but that “compliment” seems weird to me. Anyway, this post is the exact reason why I never tag authors in reviews. Not even positive reviews. My comments might have good intentions, but I know I’m critical and blunt, so the author might not appreciate my views. I want to be honest in my reviews, but I never want to hurt someone.

    Aj @ Read All The Things!

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    1. I ask myself that question every time I see something like that in a review. Also, when I see "I don't like romances/YA/contemporaries/etc" or when they give 1 star to the first book in a series, but continue to read the other books. That's just punishing, I think you can be honest without being damaging. Some reviewers are just cruel. I always keep in mind that someone worked really hard on this book, and though it wasn't for me, doesn't mean there aren't other people, who would enjoy it.

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  7. I only tag authors if they one had sent me a copy to review and if I can only gush over it. I know not every book is for me, as books are as individual as people. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings or put down all the hard work it takes to write a book and get it out into the world.

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    1. I feel most of my reviews are fangirl reviews. I don't tend to finish books I am not enjoying, and I like to think 4 - 5 stars is a great review, but I see the point Carmack made, and I think it's important to step back and really evaluate my words, and also respect the boundaries authors set.

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  8. “I normally hate romance in books, but this one was amazing” can be seen as both good and bad. Like I've made fanarts/edits (even fanfiction, let's just put this here) of my favorite fictional couples and I've received a ton of "I dislike/hate this couple but I love the art". Good because someone appreciated it, bad because this couple makes me happy and it doesn't sit well with me that someone had to be so bold in saying negativity yet still laced it with a compliment and had it say directly to me. So I can understand if some authors don't take well with being tagged, I already stopped doing it because I can agree that it also affects the author despite the positive feedback because we never know what they're truly feeling and what's a right compliment for them.

    Right now, I just review for the sake of those who want take interest in reading the same books I've read. I'm guilty of having said some compliments that may have been backhanded like “I loved this book so much, but found the heroine a little annoying at times.” but I don't want to walk on eggshells with my reviews. My honesty is plastered on what I write but never do I intend to hurt someone. I may have said something that may not be right for the authors despite the intention of complimenting but my words are always based on what I've read, not the one who wrote it. Though understandable if they're hurt if a piece of themselves is given to the character they wrote but sometimes, the audience doesn't know that. And if they do, they'd empathize but would still express their own honest feelings towards a character.

    When you create something and then share it to the public, it really does do something to you even if it's in a positive form. So again, I understand the authors. I commission for people and it's hard hearing "it's nice but something's missing/not enough" even though you've put your all into it.

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    1. I think it's important to be honest in reviews, but there are some bloggers who are better at presenting their criticism in a non-damaging way, while other just got for the jugular. When my daughter was small, I remember all the parenting books say to condemn the behavior not the child. I think this applies to characters we find "annoying". Instead of them being annoying, it is probably more beneficial to discuss their behaviors, which led you to think they were annoying. You know what I mean?

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  9. Ha! I was toying with the idea of posting the same discussion, but I didn't because I couldn't make the time (and summon the will LOL) to tweak my schedule. I'm glad we didn't end up having a duplicate!

    I can see I'm in the minority here, but I don't think it's the author's place to tell us if we can tag them or not. When we do tag them, it's understood that we rated their book from 4 to 5 stars. At the very minimum, we're letting them know we've READ their books (aren't they happy we did?) and giving them the CHANCE to read those reviews if they want to. If they don't want the details, they can simply opt out of reading such reviews and leave it at that. Also, what do they think we should do, keep a spreadsheet with the names of all the authors who prefer not to be tagged?

    Another author asked that people rounded up GR reviews to the higher rating - for instance, if you rated a book 3.5 stars, you should mark 4. This made me angry. It's not their place to decide that either. I've always rounded them down. My reasoning is - if I rounded up all my 4.5 star books to 5, how could you tell the best of the best apart from the quasi-awesome? Anyway, if their ego is too fragile, authors shouldn't release their work to the public - and if they think people are so shallow that a simple glance at a rating makes them decide if reading a book or not, I beg to differ.

    Sorry, when I get told what to do, I get infuriated LOL.

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    1. I think it's a matter of not being able to resist the temptation. They know they shouldn't click the link, but they let curiosity kill the cat. I respect their requests, but I am a little sad, because before I was blogging, my reviews were a thank you of sorts to the authors. I wanted them to know I really loved what they did, but I can see both sides of it. Author telling you have to record your ratings is a NOPE. I normally round up, but it really depends on the book.

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  10. I guess I understand why authors might be upset with some people's positives. I know I have included things I didn't like about a book even it was a 4 or 5 star read but I never really thought about an author taking it personally like that.

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    1. You should be honest in a review, but we should also understand if someone doesn't want to be bombarded by criticism. I get miffed, when someone questions my liking a book. I couldn't imagine how much it would hurt to have people denigrate something you actually created.

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  11. I 100% understand where the authors are coming from on this and I haven't tagged authors in reviews in years because I realize that, even if I mean well, they may not feel the same.
    But...I can't think about all that when I write my reviews. I don't mind input and reflecting on the way I write my reviews but I can't censor myself into a review being meaningless. I really get a lot out of reviews that point out all things so I can decide if it's for me.

    Karen @ For What It's Worth

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    1. I feel like I tend towards the positive in my reviews, because I just think there is too much negativity out there, but I understand and respect the authors' wishes, and I don't understand the bloggers, who attacked the authors on Twitter over their respectful requests.

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  12. I went into blogging to share my love of books. It seems like there are more and more do's and don'ts to worry about. This is a great discussion post that I will think about some more.

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    1. It does seem like the different parties involved have an ever changing list of requirements, but I feel like if you don't tag, you don't have to worry about the possible implications of what you wrote. If the author chooses to read it on their own, that's on them.

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  13. Twitter and social media in general are such a minefield now because everyone has an opinion and everyone's perspective is different- what doesn't offend one person might irk another. Or hurt feelings or whatever. And I agree with Karen's comment- I don't normally include authors either- that way I can't offend- and I just write the review the way I feel I need to do it.

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    1. TRUTH! Our past experiences and upbringing play such a huge role in how we perceive the world, and what's good to me, may be damaging to you. I think we are entitled to our opinions, but I sometimes think there are better ways to say things.

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  14. This is legit why I only tag authors in 5 star reviews. Im always so paranoid when I do tag because my compliments might not be seen as such!

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    1. But, some are even complaining about 5-star reviews. I just tag publishers now, and I will admit, after reading that Twitter thread, I became paranoid about my past reviews, because I know I am really direct in general.

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  15. I get this totally. But sometimes, like mentioned above, I have to tag the author due to the book tour I'm reviewing as part of, or the author wants to know when I've posted a review of a book they've asked me to read. I only tag if it is a 4 or 5 star review though. I will definitely think more about how I say things for sure!

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    1. Hey, if you are told to tag the authors, then they cannot fault you. I wonder how I would feel about some of the things people write in reviews, that are overall positive, but contain some negative bits.

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  16. This is such an interesting discussion and not one admittedly I've thought about before. I think feedback is something authors should seek out though, through what they might see as a negative review could be constructive criticism especially when it comes to writing representation. We've seen books before that are on the verge of being published and through readers reading ARC editions have picked up on highly offensive content, I can understand for an author how mentally draining and emotional it would be to see your work being criticised but in some circumstances, they should seek out and listen to what consumers are saying.

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    1. Part of me agrees with you. I have told my boss, that I want to get better at what I do, and therefore, feedback is important, but I guess scale plays a role in this. I have one boss, they will have many readers, and I have seen many reviewers, who do not understand the difference between constructive and destructive criticism. I do agree, that input regarding representation is important, but that sort of stuff should be caught way earlier in the process with beta or sensitivity readers.

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  17. I never tag authors in reviews so few of them ever see what I've written. It's not that I fear responses or anything but it's just something I've never done. A few exceptions if I know the author well maybe. To be honest, I won't modify my future reviews based on an author maybe not liking my compliment! I write honest reviews of what I liked and didn't like, to help other readers in deciding if the book is their kind of thing, so I'll be honest. If authors decide to whine when I compliment their work and give them 4 stars, then maybe they aren't actually worth my time and I'll avoid their work in the future!

    I've written similar to this before and don't view it as negative or bashing the romance genre (“I normally hate romance in books, but this one was amazing”) First, if I hate the romance genre, I'm not going to read books in that genre so I'm not talking about romance books. To me this comment refers not liking romance in the genres I do read, like an overdose of PNR in UF books etc so it is legitimate to say that I don't like romance in my books yet the author made me like the romance she wrote. That to me is a big compliment if their writing makes me like something I usually get annoyed by. If the author gets upset by that, then a 2 star review will have them suicidal and they need to grow a thicker skin! There will never be a book that everyone loves every little thing about so authors need to take the compliments where they find them!

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    1. I am seeing people mention, when they are "friends" with the author on platforms. I just think it's difficult to know how something will be perceived by someone else. There are things that are just outright insulting, but other things, like that romance comment, which don't seem damaging. I didn't think it was, but I did understand the authors POV regarding the comment. I never want an author to see my bad review, but I am a little sad that many don't even want to know about the good ones.

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  18. I don't tag authors in reviews. I read a long time ago that reviews are for readers not for authors, even when they're positive, so I just don't do it. I'll tag them in friendly stuff like promotional blitzes and the like but that's it.

    To me, if an author seeks out my review, or sees my tweet, and chooses to retweet it then that's fine but in some respects it can also make me uncomfortable because I am honest in my review (and I'll stand by what I say) but because of how much work an author puts into a book, I don't want to upset them and if I KNEW an author would see a review, I may be tempted to temper my language, avoid any outright criticisms or freak about the possibility of backhanded compliments and I don't want to over think what I write, does that make sense?

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    1. I do understand, that reviews are for readers, but if someone was saying something nice about something I did, I think I would want to know about it. There is nothing wrong with being honest, that is what readers expect, when they read reviews, but there is a difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism. I just thought Carmack's thread was really enlightening, because I will admit, I have a thick skin, and some of those things would not have been perceived negatively by me, but it's good to be aware, that it may not be the same for other people.

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  19. I never really thought of this way. I can see why this might be a little upsetting when we point out something that we might not enjoy even if the book is a 4 or 5 star read. I will be rethinking my tagging authors in my tweets from now on.

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    1. I just stopped after seeing this. I will continue to tag the publishers, but I will leave it up to the author to seek it out if they wish.

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  20. I only tag an author when I absolutely loved the book, but I can see how even a rave review may include comments that are damaging to the creative psyche. Maybe I interpreted something different from the author or maybe I give a backhanded compliment without even intending to do so. This really makes one rethink when we tag an author and if we should.

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    1. But, authors are saying they don't even want the good reviews tagged, which is a little disheartening for me. I like telling people, when they do something that made me happy, and I have had a LOT of positive interactions on social media with authors after tagging, but now I am afraid to do it. We are all very different and complicated creatures, and I think it's impossible to truly understand what will offend each and every person.

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  21. I don't tag authors in most of the book reviews I post. It's usually only if a tour asks me to that I do.

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    1. I think I even stopped doing that. I stick to pubs now.

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  22. I used to tag authors with my reviews, but only if it was a 4 star or above. I don't do it anymore, just because I feel like my review is for readers, not the authors. I'll tag the publisher only if it's a 4 or 5 star review, because they like positive reviews to capture more readers. I do feel like it wouldn't be honest to tailor a review based on whether you think you'll hurt the author's feelings or not. Some reader's negatives might be something I actually like, and I've heard that all lot from other readers. I personally don't care for super angsty books, but I have a bunch of GRs friends that LOVE it, so it's all a matter of taste. Also, if I come across a reviewer that only says good things about all the books they've read I won't pick up a book based solely on their review. I need to trust that they'll bring out the good and the bad.

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    1. I don't think it's a matter of me feeling like I have to tailor my reviews, but I will think a little bit more about my wording or how I express my love or distaste for something. It's never my goal to be offensive on the internet, and even when I don't like something, I try to put it in a fact based way vs letting the emotions flow, because that always gets me in trouble. (I am also all about low to no angst, BTW). I did a whole discussion on how I only note the negatives in a book, when I can really pinpoint what it was that didn't work for me. Sometimes it's something minor, but not readily identifiable, and how can I included it, if I cannot identify it clearly in my mind?

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  23. Great post. This is probably the number 1 reason why I don't tag authors in any of my reviews. I want to say what I want to say about a book but I certainly would never want to upset an author doing so.

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    1. And, I think people should be honest, though, I am not a fan of the insulting, ranty reviews. That's just destructive, in my opinion. I have seen many reviewers deliver negative reviews in respectful ways, so I know it can be done.

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  24. So I never tag authors, unless I am specifically asked to by a blog tour. And it's for that exact reason- I have NO idea if they want to hear what I have to say, even if it's (in my mind) a glowing review. Because I KNOW I have written stuff like "while X's first book didn't work out for me, I loved this one" or whatever. And I know they don't want to see that! But I like to highlight why I liked certain books and not others- especially if I have posted reviews of the ones I didn't like.

    I WILL tag an author (very rarely, but I have) to say like "WOW X's book is the best ever" or whatever. Nothing other than just "I loved this so much", you know? Can't be misconstrued hahah.

    And while I see Cora's points, I won't change HOW I review. If I want to say your character's annoying, so be it. But I'll also never force you to look at it, either. Plus honestly my reviews are 99% random word vomit, and if I started to analyze them... frankly I'd never post a review again 😂

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    1. I do those "Wow, I loved your book" sort of tags with my "best of" tweet on Sundays. No review, just, "I loved it!", and I hope they like that, because I really want a way to let them know their book delighted me. I don't think she was asking people to change how they write reviews, but she was trying to help us understand, why some authors just don't want to be tagged, even for good reviews. I must say, I was never put off by they way you have expressed negatives in a book. You tend to use facts, and not just rant, which I wish more people did.

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  25. I use to automatically tag authors in 4 and 5 star reviews. Now I just tag them if my review is 100% positive, and gushing. It's hard writing reviews at times, because on the one hand I understand how much an author is putting in to their story, but on the other hand I want to be honest. If it's a book I accepted or requested for review I feel obligated to write about it. If it's horrible, I will DNF it and just won't write or share it at all. Great discussion topic Sam!

    Lindy@ A Bookish Escape

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    1. It's a reality, that every book will not work for every reader. Just because a book doesn't work for me, doesn't mean no one will like it. It's sort of the same way these "compliments" work. One person may see them as negative, while another sees the positive. We all have such varied perspectives, and even when we try to be positive, not everyone will see it that way.

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  26. Interesting discussion. I don’t think there is any need to tag authors, but I always tag the publisher. Good publicity agents tell their authors to not read reviews, and curate the reviews for the attention of their author.

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    1. I personally used to like to tag authors in my 5-star reviews, because I wanted them to know how much I loved their work, but now I will do it outside of the review. I do always tag the pub, though.

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  27. I always tag 5 star reviews... but I also know that I don't make back handed compliments either. This was quite fascinating to me. I think its also quite funny that an author thinks they should demand things of reviewers. It is a public account. Many times I tag the author just so that readers can hook up with their promotions for their coming book. It seems like something they'd want.

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    1. It's not even about necessarily making a comment, which is blatant, but also everyone having different hot buttons. Something that I would be ok with might offend you. I guess I see both sides. My feelings about somebody tagging me, that I have the freedom to ignore it. I have the freedom to not respond, but that's my personality. I guess it's hard for creators, but it makes me sad, because I used to really enjoy tagging authors for reviews of books I adored. Now I will tag, but not link to my review.

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  28. I only tag the author if it's a positive review, I only post reviews on Instagram and my blog. I'll link my review on twitter but I never tag the author anyway. I also only tag the author if it's 4 or 5 stars nothing lower.

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    1. Which was a the same set of rules I used, and I was really shocked to see how many authors did not like being tagged at all.

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  29. I rarely tag authors in my reviews, because it's not really for them. If I loved a book, then sure, I might want them to know, but really the review is for readers like me and whether they might be interested in the book after reading my thoughts. I don't understand why people tag authors in negative or just okay reviews - like, why would you do that?! As for positive reviews but with backhanded compliments; I'm sure I've done this, and I know I'd feel bad if I was the author, so it's definitely something to think about for sure!

    -Lauren
    www.shootingstarsmag.net

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    1. I get that the reviews are not for them, per se, but when I write a glowing review, it's almost like a thank you to them for putting this art into the world and making me so happy for the time I spent with their book. I don't get tagging in negative reviews. It's outright rude, but I always thought positive ones were a good thing.

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  30. I am always a bit nervous when tagging authors and debating about whether or not I should be tagging them in things. Because even when I give five starts or even 4 stars, sometimes I critique a little bit and they do get to see it too. Right now, I tag in 4 or 5 star reviews, and sometimes just tag the publisher if I think I critique a bit more than not despite the rating. I actually consider 3 stars to be good reviews but not everyone thinks so, so I'm not risking that!

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    1. I always tag the pub, and I really don't promote negative reviews, which is why I had previously felt comfortable about tagging. I never realized it was such a huge and complex issue.

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  31. I pretty much never tag authors, and now I'm glad. I agree that even positive reviews have a little tinge of negative to them (is any book absolutely perfect?). If an author stumbles across my ramblings, fine, but I don't need to point them in my direction so that they feel the need to analyze my every word.

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

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    1. Nothing is perfect, but I guess there are nicer ways to point out imperfections. Some bloggers are good at that, others, not so much.

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