Monday, November 11, 2013

Review: Need - Carrie Jones

Need (Need, #1)
Carrie Jones
Series: Need, #1
Genre: Young Adult, Fantasy, Romance, Paranormal
Rating: 2.25 out of 5 stars
Word Rating: Poor
On Goodreads

Nearly DNF.
Why? Extreme amounts of tackiness and a startling capacity for being Twilight-esque in construction. Ignore everything the bookjacket leads you to believe, there is absolutely no mystery or suspense or compelling elements to be found, this novel is a wasteland made up of overused YA nonsense and I only finished it for pride purposes.

Let us reluctantly begin with characters.

Zara? Tacky, immature, basically Bella with more angst and less of a penchant for meaninglessly pretty language.
Everybody has fears, right? 
I'm into that. I collect fears like other people collect stamps, which makes me sound like more of a freak than I actually am. But I'm into it. The fears thing. Phobias.
Excuse me? This is page one. Am I expected to read past this? Off the bat, we immediately see that Zara is just a misunderstood kind of girl, a little bit on the fringe of society, if you catch my drift. I don't care if it's overused, you can at least make it interesting. But no, Zara has to qualify her freakishness? She's so absolutely nervous in these lines, there's so much hesitation and it keeps going. She is an exceptionally annoying narrator. Or maybe our author thinks we are idiotic enough to have to be told something three times in the same line. Why? It's the introduction, where we pay the most attention. Instead all I have in my head is a great bit ball of this:

I hope this is just a fluke for Carrie Jones because there's potential here. I almost actually liked some of the non-useless characters. Like Nick, who would be fine if there was anything wrong about him in Zara's POV. He's literally just perfect (athletic, gorgeous, etc). Would it kill him to just be damaged slightly, to have some mysterious elements that are dark and slightly off-putting. Make me want to like this character, I shouldn't have to say "I would like this guy if he wasn't x and y".

The plot?
Okay I haven't the faintest clue what happens in this novel because I kept trying to read past the stupid language. Zara kind of just runs around doing things and being a complete idiot and she has emotions and I never ever begin to feel for her.

Let's have a little more:
I feel all wiggly.
Fascinating use of language. Absolutely did not make me cry of laughter.
I back up and open the silverware drawer, pulling out the biggest knife I can find, the one you cut big vegetables with. It has a large sharp silver blade and a black heavy handle.
Incredible descriptive prowess. 10/10 would not spit up bile.

I actually don't know how this was published, or at least how it made it past the editor stage.

It almost feels like a bad fanfiction of itself. If you value your sanity do not read this it's not healthy for your head, which you will want to bang on several objects continually.

Is basically what I got out of this.

- Marlon

What are your phobias?
Let us know in the comments!

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